Thursday, November 21, 2013

Yeshiva to benefit Typhoon victims in Malaysia by helping themselves

Yeshiva to benefit Typhoon victims in Malaysia by helping themselves
By Rabbi Lamech Somayach Meshumad Meshubach
Mashgiach Ruchini, Yeshiva Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to

In an attempt to alleviate the suffering in the aftermath of the largest tropical typhoon in history, the rabbis at Ohr somayach in Monsey are planning to buy a dozen houses for their children.

"In an attempt to reduce suffering in Malaysia, we agree to recite poems from the book of Psalms in unison with more than 100 students and complete study on a section from the Talmud that we are already studying anyways and we will assign all heavenly benefit from this activity to the people wrecked by disaster if we raise a million dollars," Said Rabbi Avrohom Braun, dean of students for the institution.

While there was an uproar of criticism from many circles for the cynicism of doing nothing while talking about how much they care, the defense of the top wise man at Ohr Somayach was able to quell the murmuring crowds.

Rabbi Simcha Schorr, the top, and only Yiddish lecturer at Ohr Somayach, and son of the actually famous Rabbi Gedalia Schorr presented his analysis to much applause.

"We all have a crop of children coming to marriageable age (the inner circle of rabbis at Ohr Somayach) and we need to buy them houses and set up their trust funds. The guilt our wealthy followers feel over the suffering couldn't come at a better time. This is no different than every year we prevent our check slaves from going to the Salute to Israel Day Parade by hosting a special day of learning. Instead of having fun they tithe and we get rich, this is how we think it should be," he said.

The rabbis at Ohr Somayach are not the only rabbis committing this type of fraud. Almost every synagogue in Monsey has a rabbi who has raise worth in the millions of dollars by asking his impoverished followers for "charity."
Although questionable, this ploy is perfectly legal since the yeshiva fraud is couched in convoluted rationalization, said area legal expert, Duvid Kaetz, Esq. "Take for example, my legal collections business. Through ploy and innuendo, I get people to pay. In turn the synagogue got me to pay out equally large sums. My rabbi is rich and I'm still not popular," He said.

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