Tuesday, August 24, 2010

New real estate investment opportunities to support yeshivas

Rabbi Tropper announces new real estate investment opportunities to support yeshivas

By Rabbi Lamech Somayach
Mashgiach Ruchini, Yeshiva Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to http://MeshumadMeshubach.blogspot.com

A rabbi at an Orthodox Outreach organization in Monsey has announced a new investment opportunity that has many Orthodox Jews licking their lips like it was the blood of Christian babies. The real estate investment trust is being promoted as the biggest profit making opportunity since Goldman Sachs introduced mortgage fraud based equities.

Rabbi Lieb Tropper announced that since he lost power in Kol Yaakov his donation revenue has been declining precipitously. So he is using his last non-porofit entity, Horizons to launch a fraud ponzi corporation that will raise money like the world has never seen. The announcement was made last night at his annual money grubbing dinner held at Monsey wedding hall.

“After years of working with Rabbi Lieb Pinter and developing the expertise few people have in the field of mortgages, fraud, organized crime and racketeering, this program will be the climax of my career, the deal that I can retire on.,” Tropper said.

The idea was to build factories in places where cheap labor is available, near shipping. Tropper said he will build a factory in Africa to manufacture luxury houses, employing children who are homeless and willing to work for a cup of rice a day.

“We'll build near a diamond mine to take advantage of existing infrastructure,” he said.

The plan does not stop at manufacturing homes. Tropper said the plan included, “assembling luxury homes all over Statan Island and middle America, and insuring them all.”

“Don't worry about a supposed luxury housing glut,” Tropper said. “All the houses will have a built in wiring defect. After we over-value the lot, they will all burn up, resulting in the largest fire insurance payout in history!”

The idea was well received in Monsey. According to Mendel Hoffman, Monsey Community Newspaper editor, “This is important to the Monsey Community, since yeshiva fraud funds the lines of credit for all local businesses, from dry goods stores to heroin importers, to car salesmen. “

Hoffman went on to describe a billion-dollar “community trust” that will provide for enhanced socialism for all Orthodox currently living in Monsey. “This will provide for Tropper now that the elders of the community have voted that he must move out of town. It will ensure we all get taken care of and when he takes the fall, if it comes to that, well, he will get three hot meals a day and have lots of time to study Talmud over in Sing Sing,” Hoffman said.

And for people who live in nearby Ramapo or Spring Valley? “Those people are not part of our community, but they are eligible if they can find ten people in Monsey willing to sign them into the trust,” Hoffman said.

When the topic of fraud being illegal was mentioned, Tropper was not put off. “We'll do the whole boondoggle through the Rabbinical Court, the Bait Din, and the FBI can't read Hebrew so it won't be an issue with them.”