Yeshivot to add special class on molestation

Yeshivot to add special class on molestation
By Rabbi Lamech Somayach Meshumad Meshubach
Mashgiach Ruchini, Yeshivah Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to MeshumadMeshubach.blogspot.com

Due to the outbreak of attention focussed on scandals surrounding Orthodox rabbis having illicit relations with students a new class has been added to rabbinical classes at a Brooklyn Yeshiva. The rabbis teaching ordination students at Yeshiva Chaim Berlin and Torah Vodaass have joined together to create a curriculum on childhood sexual molestation in the Orthodox community.

“As the preeminent schools for creating rabbinical leadership in the Orthodox world, we realize it is important to address this vital issue early on,” said Rabbi Wosner of Brooklyn, NY. “There are many important facets to this part of Orthodoxy that rabbis must be educated on.

“ Much to the surprise of many concerned parents this class is not going to be the same chillul hashem as The Awareness Center or other groups, Wosner said. Instead this group would educate rabbis. “Many old ideas are no longer applicable, like the supposition that a minor cannot testify in bait din, since they can now testify in secular court. Our class teaches newly minted rabbis how to find the neglected kids from dysfunctional families so there will never be any calls to justice to begin with,” Said Gedalia Schorr, a Monsey rabbi descended from the gadol hador of Torah Vodass, Rabbi Simcha Schorr. “Using tips from my father, I've personally molested more that 3,000 baalei teshuvah and not one has taken it further than the local mikveh. Avrahom Braun and me, we're like the dynamic duo compared with the menuval, Rabbi Tropper!” Schorr Said.

The celebratory tone didn't stop with the announcement. There was a five man band performing all the classic wedding tunes, with men holding hands and dancing in circles in the traditional manner, palm of hand on crotch area of the man next to him, in big circles of gay Israeli style dancing.

A recently revealed adult who says he was a victim of childhood sexual molestation also spoke at the commencement. Chaim Chalvner said he was raped regularly from the age of eight until bar mitzvah. “I was molested for five of the worst years of my life. Yet to silence me, they had their congregation bribe me for hundreds of thousands of dollars, mainly because I come from a wealthy family. Redistribution of wealth is an essential part of communism and what could be more redistributive than having more people receive bribes of silence?” He said.

“Many people don't realize however much molestation might go on, there is no homosexuality in the Orthodox community,” Wosner said. “In order to be considered gay, at least one partner must be a willing participant in an act. Since we victimize children against their will and they are not of legal age to testify in bait din, there is no legal homosexuality. It's the Achmedinajad argument all over again.”

A recent audit of major Hassidic and Ultra-Orthodox congregations by Agudath Israel confirmed a unanimous and complete absence of flamboyance, openly gay behavior, bright clothing or any typical gay behavior. “Except a few young boys had sexy high pitched voices,” the report noted.