MJE spawns new group, Manhattan Gay Experience

MJE spawns new group, Manhattan Gay Experience

 

By Rabbi Lamech SomayachMeshumad Meshubach
Mashgiach Ruchini Yeshiva Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to meshumadmeshubach.blogspot.com

There is a new group in New York City and their main goal is to recruit straight people and convince them to be gay, and their inspiration, surprisingly, is a recruitment group for the Jewish ultra-Orthodox.

 “The MGE is founded on the principle that it can swell the ranks of homosexuals by being nice to straight people, exposing the to the positive side of homosexuality, and in turn they will give us money to bring more straight people over to our orientation,” said Sam Smalz, spokesperson for the MGE.

 Smalz said the idea is licensed and paid for from the Jewish Experience since everything in their program lead to the founding of the MGE.

 "We saw these extremists passing themselves off as nice moderate rabbis and raking lots of money from it before their congregants came to understand the constantly increasing limitations that were heaped on the after accepting membership in the group. In the same way, MGE will have date night where we set men up with “women” played by confederates who just happen to deny them sex, but encourage them to converse with the nice, clean cut guys we have floating all over the party,” Smalz said.

 When a new member proves to be sufficiently obsequious and seeking to support the cause of the organization even more, the plan to offer people jobs recruiting new members or working as a confederate and finding out who is the potential wealthy donor the organization is looking for.

 “Since member recruits are highly motivated, we can pay them forty percent less than they would earn in a comparable position in the workforce and the people don’t care,” Said Aron Littlebug, MGE assistant founder. “This makes for good economics, since more of the huge donors funds making it’s way into salary for the founders.”

 “It’s like those trickle down economics that Milton Fraudman was talking about at the University of Chicago, we like that guy,” Smalz said.

 A wealthy secret donor has already rented the MGE a really nice place on the Upper West Side and renovated it to meet their needs. It has a luxurious meeting hall area, an industrial kitchen, smaller studies and libraries off to the side, and best of all, there is a mikveh in the basement.

 “We did improve something big over the Hassidim,” Smalz said. “We know there is a difference between Clorox and chlorine. I don’t want my skin dried out after sex and I know our members don’t either, so we are adding softeners to the water also.”

 Smalz said the contractor who built the mikveh was recommended by the MJE and really gave them a hard time about the unholy use of a sacred object. He had to explain how they merely wanted their Jewish brethren to feel at home while mixing and mingling with all the other men and women at the MGE.