What Does My Name Mean?

What does my name mean?

An editorial column by Rabbi Lamech Somayach Meshumad Meshubach
Mashgiach Ruchini, Yeshivah Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to MeshumadMeshubach.blogspot.com

Hi everyone! I have been getting lots of inquiries as of late, so I came to realize that you too may wonder, what does all the Hebew in my name stand for? Well, I am here to tell you.
Rabbi, is an old word, it means teacher or leader. Although lately people act like it means you should give them the Priestly tithing to live will without working, as if they were actually conducting the service in the demolished temple in Jerusalem. Of course we all know that is not true, but that is what rabbi means.

My first name, Lamech is after a biblical character. He was cousin to Cain. After Cain slew Abel, Lamech was out hunting in the woods. Of course, he was already old and partially blind so he was hunting with his son, who told him which way to point his bow and arrow. Apparently he was so strong and the bow was so big, that he was the only one who could hunt with it. His son saw a movement and told him to shoot, so he killed Cain. He was so upset at this he clapped, and that then killed his own firstborn son.

Then his wives wanted to divorce him to avoid the curse he brought on his household, but he then pointed out nobody would want to mess with him since he was cursed for seven generations for killing his cousin, but anyone who messed with him would be cursed for 77 generations.

In the yeshiva world it was considered an insult to call someone klutzy a Lamech.
Somayach is the Hebrew word for happiness. It is a pun on so many organizations that call themselves the source of happiness or the light. Of course I am pretty happy now, but I wasn't for a long time.

A Meshumad is one who has had the good fortune to fall away from religiousness and since the Haredim frown on any individuality, they consider this a bad thing. But you and I know otherwise.

A person who is worthy of praise is called a Meshubach, and in this case, what is more worthy of praise than bringing people to the truth of how their silly chumras are drivng them crazy.
When in yeshiva there are all the normal types of positions counterpart to what one might expect from a public school with a few additions or subtractions. The Mashgiach Ruchini is a patronage position and a general teaching position given to someone charged with giving inspirational talks about how all the lies are true and how pure the motives of the money grubbing blood suckers who run the place. Usually it is a person who cheers on the yeshiva and the whole system, not the other way around.

The name of the yeshiva where I am employed is Aishes Eish Hatorah and this is perhaps one of the greatest mixed metaphors of all. One of the largest sources of misinformation about Charedi Judaism is called Aish HaTorah, or Fire of the Torah. They wear an easy face but they really advocate an extremely restrictive millionaire lifestyle, since they are looking mainly for millionaire donors. The second half of the metaphor is a biblical term for adultery, Aishes Eish, or a married mans' woman. Of course this is one thing they don't advocate, but it makes for a nice contrast.