Monsey Rabbi starts organization for extramarital hookers

Monsey Rabbi starts organization for extramarital hookers

By Rabbi Lamech Somayach Meshumad Meshubach
Mashgiach Ruchini, Yeshivah Aishes Eish HaTorah
Special to MeshumadMeshubach.blogspot.com

In a move to pull an outdated legalistic society into the modern age while, Rabbi Leible Tropper of Monsey, New York has started a new organization called Eternal Jewish Pelegish, aimed at encouraging more Jewish men to take on additional sex partners in addition to their wife.

“Everyone already knows this sort of thing is common, but we want tit in the context of a legal commitment. We also want to have a slice of the money by charging men for the legal accouterments of the hoes, things like handwritten contracts on fine lambskin parchment and mikveh visits,” Tropper declared at a fundraising dinner where he announced the plan. The dinner attracted over 170 rabbis of various denominations.

There may be a lambskin document, but this is not a place for a lambskin condom, Tropper said.

“We need a greater growth rate than a mere 12 children per family, and this will allow our breadwinners to have at least 24 children for each baal habas, think of the miser from all those followers, I am almost cumming in my bekisheh at the thought,” Tropper said.

The problem is that a conversion of a non-Jewish spouse can take ten years or more and some rabbis will never give a non-Jewish spouse a conversion. He then gave the Url of a web site, http://www.eternaljewishfamily.org as a place for further information.

According to the site, Tropper and his organization have established seven rabbinical courts across the nation catering to the frum-sex and frum-group-sex crowds., and they are in the process of establishing more.

By standardizing the pilegesh process, Eternal Jewish Family hopes to lure in mixed couples that vow to adhere to Orthodoxy said Rabbi Marvin Jacobs, conference and fundraising chair.

“We don't let any boys in the yeshiva date until we are convinced they can keep their stupid mouths shut, so that I know they won't tell anyone about having sex on the side when they are bored with their first baby popper, er wife. Just like my wife doesn't know about me and our cute Russian housekeeper,” Tropper said. “Oops,” he added.

Many graduates of his yeshiva know that the celibacy enforced on bachurim is well worth it and that the sex fest begins after sheva brachos ends.

“Didn't you ever wonder why women aren't allowed to talk in the mikveh? It is so they won't ask who all the strange visitors are that they don't recognize. We really run an orderly system in Monsey,” Tropper said.